Don’t You Love The Rush Of Falling In Love?
It’s the greatest feeling when you experience the flutter of queasiness in your stomach and your palms sweat. In addition, the exhilaration of uncertainty fills the air, and you feel confused and strangely hooked on the adrenaline. This rush keeps us in the dating game and keeps us searching for the one who will ignite such feelings and more.
Should Love Always Feel Good?
In the short video below Oprah has a conversation with Gary Zukav and his spiritual partner of 17 years Linda Francis. They explain why love isn’t about finding that one special person who will always make you feel good. However, it is more about finding a spiritual partner who makes you question who you are from the depths of your personal fears. One must then find the courage to speak their truth, although it feels like everything could be lost.
“Spiritual Partners Say Things They Are Most Afraid Will Destroy the Partnership.” ~ Gary Zukav
In the following 4 minute video, Gary and Linda describe why a spiritual partnership and the level 3 relationship, is often a rocky terrain. This video opens the door for us to ask, should love always feel good?
Relaxed Relationships calls this type of relationship “level 3.” The level 3 relationship is about two individuals who are committed to their spiritual growth. They recognize the means to grow within the commitment of the relationship. It’s not the commitment to another, but rather the commitment to yourself to stay and do something different, than you have done before, and thus create a different outcome. Each partner takes full responsibility for every issue which arises. They question their emotions, acknowledge their personal baggage and recognize the opportunity to change a sabotaging behavior. This behavior, by the way, has existed in every single relationship prior.
The level one relationship contains the characteristics of “let’s just do nothing and pretend everything is ok.” If your relationships reside primarily in level two, you don’t think twice about throwing in the towel and all your relationships end in fight or flight. The circumstances will always be different, but the pattern is the same.
The level 3 relationship is sometimes painful. It feels raw and at times uncertain. It is a relationship which embarks on unchartered territory. The uncharted territory of true love. Therefore, it is at the moment you don’t respond with the knee-jerk reactions of blame or anger that your authentic power finds an avenue for expression. In this tear in the fabric of your personality, you expose your truest self.
Welcome To The Path Of Love . . .
Personal growth is NEVER comfortable. Our unwillingness to be vulnerable is largely the reason why less than .04% of the world’s population will ever experience true love. It’s time to take a hard look at the question: should love always feel good? Every time we are face-to-face with a challenging moment, it appears the person across from us is the perpetrator. We are armed with blame, ready to point the finger. We are ready to tell them every reason why they are at fault for making us afraid, angry and uncomfortable.
However, when the relationship issue arises, this is your opportunity to create change. Furthermore, this challenging moment will determine your willingness and readiness to grow spiritually. The opportunity for change arises when you feel the urge to fight or take flight. It is in this terrifying moment you stay and do something different. This opens the path to your authentic self. You are about to face your deepest fears. If you want to go deeper into this process visit our blog post, “What is a Relaxed Relationship”.
If You Are Willing To See This Process Through, It Will Feel Like The Rush Of Falling In Love.
That’s right; you will experience the flutter of queasiness in your stomach, and your palms will sweat. In addition, the exhilaration of uncertainty fills the air, and you feel confused and strangely hooked on the adrenaline. It is interesting that the feeling of falling in love signals the same feelings as falling out of love. Why? Because in every moment, we only have one of two choices, and in the human body, fear triggers the same emotions as love. The only difference is what WE CHOOSE to experience. Will you choose love or will you choose fear?
The Opportunity For Love Happens When You Question The Urge Of Flight Or Fight.
So, when you’re ready to stand in the vulnerability of the spiritual partnership, just remember the path to love often feels like your own personal crucifixion. This process leads to understanding your authentic self and opens the portal of real love.
“How Can Spirituality Be Anything But Wonderful And Reverend And How Can It Be Anything But Extraordinarily Challenging. ~ Gary Zukav
The challenges are beyond any that I’ve found, and the rewards are beyond anything I could have imagined. A spiritual partnership is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was determined to stay, and it was quite painful at first because I had to look at myself. It’s not the relationship that is painful; it’s what you discover in yourself that’s painful, and the relationship brings that up. ~Linda Francis