Are You searching for love? How would you approach dating and relationships if you could choose from thousands of soulmates?
Are you always on the hunt for “the one” and searching for the perfect partner? Perhaps you’ve spent your entire life looking for your soulmate so you can fall in love and begin enjoying life? It is important to realize while true love cannot be learned nor taught, there are some things you can do to put yourself in the direct path of cupids’ arrow and attract thousands of soulmates!
You see, without realizing it the portal to love opens many times throughout our lives. This gives us many opportunities to meet a “soulmate”. However, if we don’t realize what the opportunity for love looks like…
LOVE JUST PASSES US BY
Years ago I met with one of my spiritual teachers who said something I will never forget. Her words of wisdom ultimately changed the course of my life via the way I approached dating and relationships. I vividly remember walking away from our conversation obsessing on one thing she told me:
“There are thousands of soulmates available to us on the planet at all times.”
THOUSANDS OF SOULMATES?! WAIT…WHAT?!
Obviously, she knows nothing of the pool of prospects in which I’ve been swimming or rather continuously drowning. I muddled to myself. I was an exhausted trout swimming upstream in the sea of life against the tide of love and relationship fulfillment. So, toss me a life vest and please tell me how there can be thousands of soulmates?!
Aren’t we all supposed to be searching for “THE ONE”? You know, the one soulmate who will complete us and make us feel whole? The one soulmate who will make us feel good all the time and make us feel like we are at home and safe in their presence? Isn’t this love? Isn’t this why are continually searching for our ONE-SOUL-MATE?!
If you want to find love…DITCH the soulmate!
I will never forget the day this realization hit me. Put another way, I will never forget the feeling of the experience and my understanding of the truth of the above statement. Whoa, that was a lot, so let’s make sure it sinks in. I’ll explain more so keep reading…
It was several years ago in which I decided to go back on Match.com to “practice”. Match and online dating was a regular thing for me. It was something I did off and on for three years, but mostly because I was bored.
However, this time I decided to approach dating differently and set a new intention. I logged back onto my account with my worn-out username, “Terminally Single”, I deleted almost everything I had written in my profile and changed the description of my “looking for” to read one simple thing…
“Looking for a hot steamy love affair
to last the rest of my life”
I didn’t get a big response, but this was no surprise as most online dating surfers are not looking for long term. However, I looked at this as help from the universe to do some pruning for me. Over the course of a few days, I set up a handful of coffee dates with a new and very different perspective. As men responded to my profile I decided to do something differently. I agreed to a coffee date based mostly on how they reached out to me. In addition, I didn’t say yes based on looks, color, status, or age, but rather something they said which I felt was genuine, kind, and displayed some type of vulnerability.
To Be in Love Is To Be Vulnerable ~ A Course of Love
I began practicing seeing everyone through the eyes of love, in other words, I didn’t judge. Anything!
I didn’t judge if they were dressed appropriately, said the right things, or had the right kind of career. The color of their skin didn’t matter and neither did their age. Furthermore, I didn’t judge if they were “the one. I just accepted everything about them and allowed each moment to unfold naturally. I enjoyed hearing about anything they wanted to share and found myself asking a lot of questions about them because I was genuinely curious.
This hour spent with each “stranger” was very different.
It was bumpy and awkward at first. I felt like I was laying down my defense shield. Furthermore, I felt like I might be giving some guys unrealistic hope. I also wondered if I might have a few strays following me home (that’s a nice way of describing the stalkers). It’s important to note, none of this happened. At the end of each coffee date, and several moments throughout, there was a sense of something different.
You see when you don’t show up with an expectation, or a personal agenda of how the other should look, act, or what should happen, you are free to experience each benign moment. Oh, and by the way, benign moments create the emotions of reverie!
I experienced an inner sense of bliss, serenity, and the revelation I was having an experience for which the soul yearns. You guessed it, LOVE!
It was evident my dates felt it too. In addition, they really didn’t know what it meant or what to do with it. I was probably their first online date who didn’t judge anything they said or did. Naturally, I could feel them at ease enjoy each minute as well.
Each date seemed to last about an hour. When the conversation began to wane, I would stand up, give them a hug and say, “thank you for sharing this hour with me. It was a pleasure hearing about you and your life.”
While they were still processing what just happened
I was already driving away…
I wasn’t exactly sure how this was going to work out for me. I no longer felt like I was looking for something or someone. Each moment was peaceful and perfect somehow.
Therefore, I stayed the course of just enjoying getting to know each date and was so grateful for the tool of online dating. There is nothing else that gives us the opportunity to learn about someone just by what they write in their online profile. Often the information found in one’s profile might take several dates to uncover (this was long before swish to the right or left was born).
In addition, the coffee date allows us to get out of the house, enjoy an hour with someone we would never have the chance of encountering in our day-to-day lives. Not to mention, discover something about our Higher Self through the experience of relating to another. Approaching online dating in this manner creates a state of excitement and mystery. I was in awe of how many great guys are out in the world, wandering around single, and I thought to myself, How on earth can anyone choose just one?
At that moment the cosmic 2×4 made contact and I heard the words of my spiritual teacher once again,
“There are thousands of soulmates available to us on the planet at all times”
What a revelation!
You see when we are in a state of seeking and searching for “the one” we are actually repelling love by placing ourselves in a state of lack and judgment.
The ego harps:
- Is he/she the one?
- Are they good enough?
- Am I worthy?
- Is this my SOULMATE?
It’s important to know that judgment is the opposite of love. True love only ACCEPTS everything. This is why A Course in Miracles warns of the ego’s incessant message…
SEEK AND DO NOT FIND
I also want to mention when we are on the hunt for our soulmate we are always in search mode, and trying to find the one who measures up to the fantasy in our mind. We search for the relationship our best friend has with their partner of twenty years. Or perhaps the 60-year marriage of our grandparents who both died while holding hands. You know…the “soulmates”!
However, the very act of looking for something or someone is telling us we don’t have it (i.e. lack =level 1) and we need to move into a state of love (level 4) or at least open the portal by being in level 3 through appreciation and gratitude. Check out our relationship compass if you are unfamiliar with the 4 levels of a relationship.
Feel free to share your thoughts below about your vision of the “perfect soulmate”. Then leave it on this page, and get out into the world and start falling in love with everyone and everything. This practice is guaranteed to put you in the direct path of the cupid’s bow.
It’s important to realize the relationship is simply the vehicle for the experience so allow every experience to cultivate feelings of love (through acceptance) in you. Repeat to yourself…
“I have the opportunity to choose from thousands of soulmates!”
It was with this newfound understanding I enthusiastically set up three more coffee dates in the same week. I was excited about the process and the mystery of it all!
Coffee date number one: Great guy! Good looking, successful, and charming. However, when the date was over he didn’t do anything or take the initiative to make the next move. Perhaps he was waiting for me to make the move, but I like being the girl.
Coffee date number two: Great guy! Good looking, successful, and charming. However, when the date was over he didn’t do anything or take the initiative to make the next move. Perhaps he was waiting for me to make the move, but I like being the girl.
Coffee date number three: Great guy! Good looking, successful, and charming. And the rest they say is history…