What is a Relaxed Relationship exactly?
What goes through your mind when someone says…
I want a Relaxed Relationship
Perhaps, it almost seems like an oxymoron-yes?
Furthermore, if the entire process below seems a bit insane – well, it is!
Real quick, click here for the definition of insanity just to refresh your memory.
Ok great, now that we have that straight let’s keep going.
(Disclaimer-If you are in an abusive relationship or your life is in danger you need to call 911 or a crisis hotline)
The truth is, a Relaxed Relationship doesn’t exist. You have to create one…
First of all, it consists of one person who is willing to recognize that every relationship of their past is the result of what they did/do not know about the truth and purpose of relationships.
In addition, it requires full courage to begin (again and again perhaps) and practice being your highest Self in every moment.
There can be no wavering.
Consequently, there can be NO BLAME, and no matter how badly you might want to leave the relationship when things get uncomfortable – you stay to see the process to completion.
It’s important to mention, you have to go through the muck, the awful parts, and do the exact opposite of what you have always done.
(Hint: it was Flight or it was Fight)
Due to the nature of this process, it seems like a sharp stick hurled in the eye might be less painful. Because there are a lot of difficult steps one must go through to have what is on the other side of what we currently call “the relationship.”
Let’s begin with a quick understanding of relationships as defined by A Course of Love. Click here to read the Reality of Relationships. I’ll wait until you get back. It is important you read this as you might not be interested in having a Relaxed Relationship. After all, don’t you want to know what will be asked of you before you decide to enlist in this process? Go ahead, it’s short, read the Reality of Relationships.
. . . You’re back. Okay great, please fasten your seatbelt.
A Relaxed Relationship is a practical device witnessed by its results – The Relaxed Relationship never fails.
- First of all, you will need to be at a higher level of consciousness to RECOGNIZE the opportunity for the Relaxed Relationship experience.
- You will only realize this experience through EXPERIENCE.
- As a result, it involves a significant step towards the perception of WHAT IS REAL.
- Most of all, it is LEARNED.
- The Relaxed Relationship is an accomplishment. It begins, develops and BECOMES ACCOMPLISHED.
- Furthermore, it represents THE REVERSAL or transformation of what you currently call “a relationship.”
- It is Love (not Hollywood’s version)
- It is Joy (experienced as a by-product)
- And it is Peace that you will want to share with another.
The Most Difficult Phase is Recognizing the Opportunity to Take this Leap of Faith to Experience its Effects…
Let’s take a look at the 5 Steps to Integration of the Relaxed Relationship:
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1: You must set an intention (no matter what) to be the loving person you are. You know, the one you are when you AREN’T in a relationship with another.
This is a commitment you will make to your Self.
To BE your true Self in every situation.
Your HIGHER authentic Self;
Loving, Joyous, Peaceful.
This is a Promise.
It is a Vow.
A Call from Your Soul.
Because you want love, and deserve love;
YOU ARE LOVE!
You will not experience peace until you are at home in what you are, and it will involve another as we have already discovered, “Reality doesn’t exist without a relationship.”
2: This intention will abruptly shift your current “relationship” to the exact opposite of what it is.
3: When the invitation for a Relaxed Relationship is accepted the shifting begins IMMEDIATELY. The relationship is now on a path to fulfill a higher purpose.
4: The goal of the relationship replaces yours, and it will never again be what it was.
5: As a result, you will accomplish this process very rapidly. However, it makes the relationship seem disturbed, disjunctive and even quite distressing. The reason for the chaos is the relationship is out of alignment with its TRUE NATURE.
Furthermore, it is now unsuited for its purpose initially defined by you. It’s important to understand, its original meaning was given its use according to your hidden agenda.
Most relationships will break off at this point to re-establish the habit of chaos in another relationship…
THE HIDDEN AGENDA:
The ego becomes extremely intense with this shift in goals.
Its structure has become threatened, and therefore it will work overtime to re-organize its positioning to the relationship’s main purpose of chaos once again.
“Chaos” you know, the stuff relationships are made of…drama, anger, disappointment, blame, anxiety, regret, humiliation, and resentment.
It’s important to mention, this is what A Course in Miracles refers to as “the illusion”.
“Now the ego counsels thus; substitute for this another relationship to which your former goal was entirely appropriate. You can escape from your distress only by getting rid of your brother.” ~A Course In Miracles
In other words, your ego will convince you:
- Move on!
- You don’t have to put up with this!
- Don’t you know, your soul mate will never treat you like this!
- Ya goof…You chose wrong AGAIN!
- It’s not you…it’s them!
In summary: “Seek And Do Not Find…”
You are about to make a radical shift which is required to integrate a complete change of mind about the relationship…
Let’s call this radical shift ACCEPTANCE which has forgiveness secretly enveloped within.
This new point of view you will contemplate, but ONLY BRIEFLY.
It’s important to realize, the perception of the relationship now becomes completely disorganized and no longer makes any sense. As a result, you will feel distraught, depressed and forced to make one of two choices (both which have you feeling appalled):
CHOICE NUMBER ONE:
Move in the direction of the whirling ego. Probably demanding a drive-by with an untraceable automatic weapon, loaded with “logical” reasons, and consequently ready to do the job of elimination.
OR . . .
CHOICE NUMBER TWO:
Swallow the rotting aftertaste of failed relationships past, and remember the promises you made when you asked for a Relaxed Relationship.
You promised you would do anything.
A promise was made that you would BE your higher Self – no matter what.
A vow was made, which included your willingness to do something different.
You agreed to accept everything that was going to come your way.
It all began when you acknowledged that you don’t know the real purpose of relationships.
Furthermore, you promised to do your part in exchange for God/Love to do his.
Don’t forget when you agreed to ACCEPT your part; you placed within your pocket forgiveness. Better known as, the Reality of Relationships.
- In a challenging moment, you pause (reluctantly) choosing acceptance.
- Lips are shut and mind is still.
- Most of all, your heart is open and you do nothing…
Yes, this is the “Relax” part
TIME TO ENLIST YOUR LEAP OF FAITH:
1: Do not abandon the process.
2: Do not betray the truth within you.
3: Accept with gladness and humility what you do not understand.
4: It is your conviction to the process that will allow things to turn out differently.
5: Your relationship is not falling apart, IT IS BEING SAVED.
Furthermore, when the relationship has sanity set as its purpose you will discover trust.
Trust in You.
Trust in your partner.
Trust in a Process which you have never experienced before.
Now that you know the requirements of a Relaxed Relationship do you want one and are you willing to do the work it takes to have one? Please share your thoughts below.
Inspired by “A Course In Miracles” and “A Course of Love”.
Test driven for accuracy and injected with experience.