Pick up lines don’t always lead to happy endings, but what if there is one more ingredient which needs to be added for this process to have a lasting effect?
We live in a society of, “I wanted it yesterday.” Statistically, loneliness is at an all-time high, and we are starving for love, but just how willing are we to add this one ingredient?
First of all, the world of dating and relationships can feel like a revolving door, but have you ever received that ONE line that hooked you? You know, the one that came unexpectedly and etched in your memory like a scene from your favorite movie.
When this magic happens we realize how quickly the portal for love can open, and it only requires a few words.
The truth is, many of these portals open throughout our lifetime. However, we miss these opportunities as there is something that must take place between those first words and the time it takes leading up to the realization we have something meaningful, fulfilling and everlasting. This time in between is called PATIENCE. Coincidentally, patience is The 8th Pillar of Relationship Transformation.
I remember the last time this experience happened to me, and I can easily recall the scene like it was yesterday.
Furthermore, I still feel the rush I felt on that first date…over a decade ago.
So, we were supposed to meet at Starbucks which was my usual online coffee date routine. I always knew I could enjoyably pass an hour getting to know someone, even if the spark was missing. As a terminally single person, it became easy for me to call every date perfect, say thank you, and go about my day grateful for the hour I spent enjoying someone’s company.
However, August 10, 2011, was different.
It was early afternoon, on a Wednesday, and at the last minute
I received a phone call, “Starbucks is crowded can we meet someplace else?” I agreed because I was running late. And although I’m never late, the suggested location was closer.
I walked into the empty restaurant, and a hot guy was sitting at the bar. One word crossed my mind . . . DAMN!
From the moment I sat down, the conversation never lagged. Every word seduced me. Mr. Hot Guy told me the many details of his life; his kids, his ex and his career. He kept trying to switch the conversation over to me, but I couldn’t get enough of his words, staring at those blue eyes and watching those delicious lips move.
He told me he spent the majority of his career in the food industry; I was enjoying the education on how to tell if food was organic, and Mr. Blue Eyes mentioned that he was the one who developed the bar code system that traces E-coli back to the farmer . . . And I was “IN LOVE”. He had no idea that I am a fanatic about food safety, religiously hand washing every piece of produce that comes out of the ground before it gets anywhere near my digestive system.
So, back to the date and the words that I will never forget . . .
Furthermore, I’m facing Mr. Hot Guy and have one elbow resting on the bar. I’m just casually sitting there with my legs crossed, sipping on my drink, and poking at the appetizer of edamame. Eating one–tiny–kernel–at–a-time. Of course, I wanted to slam back a fist full like I do when I’m on a date with myself and eating popcorn on a pajama Friday night. But you know, “the first impression routine”, and the challenge of who you really are vs. whom you want the other person to think you are. . . THE STRUGGLE IS REAL!
Why is it that everytime you want to make a good impression something embarrassing ALWAYS happens?!
Well, one of those small kernels of edamame somehow dribbled from a hole in my lip and landed on my knee. It seemed like a hush fell across the entire restaurant, a spotlight consumed me, and everything happened in s-l-o-w-m-o-t-i-o-n with all eyes watching – including the focused attention of Mr. Blue Eyes. UGH!
Trying to maintain my poise and grace (yes grace) I very gently just picked up that annoying little slippery bean with my thumb and forefinger, meanwhile allowing my pinky to fly high in the air in an attempt to call attention to my femininity. . . yeah, that’s right.
I remember the horror as Mr. Hot Guy stopped talking to watch the entire monstrosity unfold. I gently placed the green dime sized morsel back in my mouth, as if I meant for the whole thing to happen that way. I daintily began to chew and chew…and chew. One would have thought I had a bite of yesterday’s leftover steak in my mouth for as long as I was chewing on that minuscule piece of nothingness, but I was trying to think of something to say to salvage . . . um. . . uh . . . “the grace”?
Here’s the play by play:
1. Bean in mouth.
2. Bean lands on knee.
3. Bean back AGAIN in mouth.
Mr. Hot Guy’s piercing blue eyes just looked at me, he smiled and said,
”I was SOOOOOOOO going to get that.”
You see, the time between those first words and today has been filled with joy, laughter, harmony, acceptance, willingness, and lots of PATIENCE. There were so many times I wanted to throw in the towel because things didn’t appear to be going the way I planned. As a result, I wanted things to be easier. In addition, I thought I chose the wrong guy…again.
Furthermore, when things get tough, and emotions come rushing to the top of the inner volcano, I have learned to hold back. I keep my mouth shut and allow the “laws of love” to fill in the gaps of what I don’t know. As long as I react with anger, blame or scorn, this is a sign I am allowing my past to create my present moment.
I’ve come to trust this time and space for letting things just to be as they are. And, by the way, the revelation ALWAYS happens. Which inevitably opens the portal of real love and the experience of reverie.
Furthermore, it’s been many years since this moment took place, and I would like to bring you up to speed with what happens when patience is added as a secret relationship ingredient. Naturally, it allows love to blossom just catch up to us here as we fast forward several years.