I’m not relationship material according to how one might define the “right qualities” when it comes to the world of dating and relationships. Match.com has more than 24 million members. As such, do you know what to look for when it comes to online dating profiles? Furthermore, how confident are you about recognizing positive character traits when choosing a life partner?
There is a saying . . .
“A woman marries a man expecting he WILL change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman hoping that she WON’T change, but she does”.
As it turns out, we realized this statement holds profound truth through our discussion regarding The Dating and Relationship Terrain at our local Relaxed Relationship Workshop. Many of our members were surprised to learn that although one can have some great qualities it doesn’t ensure good relationship material.
When Relaxed Relationships decided to take a little break from the heavier topics last summer, we thought we would have some laughs about the two following lists:
13 Ways You Know You’re Dating A High-Class Woman and 13 Ways You Know You’re Dating A Grown-Ass Man
(both by Crissy Stockton listed below)
As it turns out, these two conversations opened a tremendous wound for both men and women.
Furthermore, it revealed why today’s relationship between the sexes is such a challenge and why we are having difficulty coming together to bridge the differences between us.
As a result, what we discovered was that most men agreed with the qualities of the male list, but feel they are always work in progress. All women indicated they ARE this woman mentioned in the list, but NOT while in a relationship. Therefore, just decide it’s easier to be alone.
And if you want to discover how you can BE this partner in a relationship or HAVE this partner in your relationship? Just check out our FREE online course.
Hence, below are the two lists. Also, do let us know if you agree with these qualities and believe they are good character traits to look for in a potential partner through the comments section below. In addition, we would love to know if you think you are “relationship material” and why or why not.
13 Ways to Know You are Dating a Grown-Ass Man
1. You know where you stand. You are his girlfriend, or you are a girl he’s dating but either way, he’s not scared to define it. He’s not afraid that a girl will cry and run away if she doesn’t hear what she wants to, he wants a mature woman because he is a grown man.
2. You don’t have to prod him to become a real adult. He’s self-motivated to improve on his own. If there’s an area of his life that needs improvement, he’s working on it long before you notice it.
3. Texting with him is peaceful. Sometimes you have conversations. Sometimes you make plans. But it’s never a power struggle of who initiates and who texts last. Furthermore, it’s not fishing for compliments or security. It’s simply a short form of communication.
4. He calls his mom. You don’t need to tell him to do this, and he does it to keep in touch, not because he needs her stamp of approval on all his choices.
5. He has interests. Like actual interests. Not beer darts or meeting women. He reads the newspaper or books, and when you ask him his opinion on something, he has an answer.
6. When you spend the night at his place, it doesn’t feel like camping. His sheets are (reasonably) clean, there’s (gasp) toilet paper and (double gasp) fresh towels in the bathroom, and there’s something in the fridge other than beer.
7. He doesn’t disappear for days or a week at a time. He knows that if he needs space or some time to clear his head when he’s stressed out all he needs to do is say that. He’s strong enough to be upfront rather than running away.
8. He never says “just trust me” as an attempt to end a disagreement. He knows that if you’re expressing concern, the solution isn’t to just tell you not to have it. Therefore, he isn’t manipulative.
9. He doesn’t get jealous. Sure, it doesn’t make him happy when another guy hits on you while he’s checking your coats, but he doesn’t blow up about it. He’s secure in your admiration.
10. He doesn’t treat you like a child. If he disagrees with you, he can tell you that. He assumes you want to engage with him rather than assuming you are a piece of glass that will shatter at the slightest disturbance.
11. He encourages you to grow and try new activities. Furthermore, he isn’t afraid he will be left in the dust, and he genuinely wants the best for you.
12. You never have this conversation: “Where do you want to go?” “Uh, I don’t know, where do you want to go?”
13. You don’t have to play a guessing game when he’s upset about something. He tells you. Directly. With words. As a result, you have a conversation and figure out a solution.
DISCOVER MORE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP BLOGS ABOUT HOW TO EFFECTIVELY NAVIGATE THE ROCKY RELATIONSHIP TERRAIN TO CREATE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP AND DISCOVER LOVE!
13 Ways to Know your Dating a High-Class Woman
1. She encourages you to pursue your goals, but she doesn’t micromanage. Therefore, she trusts you to make the right decisions in your life. She’s the cheerleader, not the coach.
2. She doesn’t try to make you jealous. She’s secure in her worth, and your ability to recognize how valuable she is. Furthermore, she doesn’t need to play games to “trick” you into seeing her her for what she is.
3. She doesn’t have a princess complex. She demands that you treat her with respect — but because she is a person you love, not because she is a woman and therefore magically entitled to something. Just as she would expect you to treat your friends and family with respect, she knows you wouldn’t treat her any other way. A high-quality woman wouldn’t be with a man who was disrespectful to the people he is close to in life.
4. She has a part of her life that doesn’t involve you. Friends, hobbies, career — whatever. Therefore, she’s confident and independent enough not to need your involvement in everything she does.
5. You wouldn’t think twice about inviting her into different parts of your life: a barbecue with your college friends, a dinner with your parents, a fancy work party — she knows how to handle herself in different settings. She’s mature enough to make a good impression with your colleagues and wise enough to know letting loose with your friends and having fun doesn’t mean she’s immature.
6. She takes care of herself. This doesn’t mean she is perfect; it means she is always improving. You don’t have to tell her she needs to solve a problem in her life. She’s self-aware and sees what issues she has and is self-motivated enough to be working to improve them constantly. She needs a partner, not a dad.
7. When she is in a situation where she doesn’t know people, she introduces herself confidently. She doesn’t cling meekly to your side waiting for you to facilitate every social interaction.
8. A reasonable, non-hyper-conservative employer could look at her social media presence and hire her.
9. She isn’t shy about sex. Therefore, if she doesn’t want to do something, she can articulate why instead of just saying “ew”. Your sex life with her isn’t a shady secret she feels uncomfortable talking about, it’s adult and healthy and you both work to keep the flame alive.
10. She has opinions more than “idk” and she can talk calmly and non-hyperbolically about them. If she disagrees with you, you can have a conversation about it without anyone raising their voice.
11. She would never joke with her friends or family (or worse, your friends or family) about how men are “stupid” or childish, or whatever “happy wife happy life” mantra you’ve heard women use to put down the partners they love.
12. She knows what she wants in life. Therefore, she doesn’t change her values or goals to tailor fit the guy she is with.
13. You feel lucky to be dating her because you know she would never date anyone just to date them. Therefore, she isn’t afraid to be single, and she is self-sufficient. You know she is dating you because she’s attracted to you and she thinks that you will help each other grow to be even higher quality, together.
In conclusion, let us know what you think make good character traits in a partner in the comments section below and thank you for sharing this information with others.
Check out our surprising survey results when we asked our members their “Number One Relationship Challenge?”
