Learning to have Faith in Relationships might seem impossible if you’ve ever had your heart ripped out. However, if you can allow yourself to find meaning and accept what happened with grace, you are on your way to discovering a powerful tool for relationship navigation. Furthermore, you will find yourself standing in the doorway to your heart’s deepest desires.
Relaxed Relationship members embarked on a ten-month journey into the discovery of what it means to answer the call from the soul when it comes to love and relationship fulfillment. We discovered that having a belief there is just one soul mate greatly hinders one’s personal growth and happiness. In addition, if one has the experience of abandonment or betrayal from this “soul mate” it’s difficult to move on and have faith in relationships again.
Here’s one member’s story:
A good looking gentleman approaching sixty years old, successful in his career and never married. He had one significant relationship in his life of five years. He yearned for depth so his partner agreed to therapy to see if they could remove the obstacles between them and experience deeper intimacy.
Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately, she was unwilling to do the work and left him. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to do what ever it took to have the love in which HE yearned. Years passed and this man developed a sabotaging belief system that women are shallow and only looking for money. He was careful to hide his success by hiding the fancy sports car in the garage and only driving the Ford on dates.
Throughout our regular meeting with the group, he shared his frustration in women. Date after date experiencing the same thing and unwilling to let go of the pain and memory of the five-year relationship.
One day the realization hit, the light bulb came on, and within a very short time, he met a woman online whom he became engaged within just a few months.
So, begin by getting very clear about what you want regarding love and relationships, and no matter what, commit to staying the course. You must have faith in a process that you can’t see. Always remain true to who you are, and begin to question the real meaning of “soul mate”. You see, everyone we encounter on our path is leading us to a deeper understanding of our soul’s calling and what we really want when it comes to discovering true love.
Hold Faithfulness and Sincerity as First Principles
On the Path to Self-Actualization FAITH Falls in the Ninth Position of Personality Integration.
Faithfulness encompasses the previous 8 attributes of our authentic Self. Therefore, to the degree we can integrate faith into our list of attributes, we do so in the practice of acceptance found in level three of relationship development.
Acceptance; allowing EVERYTHING to be as it is.
Most noteworthy, the attributes mentioned in The 10 Pillars of Transformation, all have something in common. This common thread involves allowing a higher power, also known as Love as well as God, to work through us as open channels. Furthermore, faithfulness prepares us for the last and tenth pillar of transformation: Open-Mindedness.
Our Full Acceptance of Allowing every Situation to be What it is Allows a Higher Power to work Through us Correcting Everything According to the Laws of Love
You see, here’s what we do: we try to be faithful to SOME things, but not others. Consequently, we SUB-CONSCIOUSLY think, “I’m going to love you as long as you meet my needs.” Therefore, when we think this way, it is a projection of our wavering from faithfulness. Perhaps it goes like this, “I’m going commit to a spiritual path and just BE love. But it appears YOU are making me angry, and therefore, it’s your fault I’m feeling this way and now I’m not able to be loveable.”
Also, what about this one in which we have been taught to think is okay. . .
“I’m going to forgive you, but I’m not going to forgive what you did to me.”
It’s an interesting dynamic in the world of dating and relationships. We fully expect the escape route to be in place for ourselves and acceptable to others. But when it comes to what we want, we expect others to meet our needs NO MATTER WHAT! Oh, and if they don’t, it is easy to justify giving them one of the hundred ways to leave your lover routine, and ourselves the back door to freedom.
Our Faith Waivers Due to
Our Lack of Trust. ~ A Course in Miracles
Have you ever shown up in a relationship ready for “the talk” in which you were eager to sit someone down, tell them everything on your mind, and how you expect them to remedy YOUR situation? In other words,
The next time You find Yourself in the State of Premeditation and Faithful to an Agenda Here’s What You Need to Do:
ASK . . .“Where do you see yourself in a few years, or where do you see this relationship heading?”
LISTEN . . . If they tell you, “Backpacking across Europe with a pup tent.” Well, then this sounds like a plan for ONE!
BE . . . Allow them to have their dream and BE happy for them.
LEAP . . . As in, take a leap of faith. If you want a serious commitment from someone, you have to let those seeking solitary confinement go.
Become very aware of the temptation to become the victim and BLAME as this dumps YOU at the lowest level of consciousness, and light years away from discovering your true north.
Be Sure of What you Want and Doubt Becomes Impossible
~A Course in Miracles
Particularly relevant on the path to personal fulfillment, we must understand we are all unique and yet we are all the same. All of us are moving towards an inner calling, in other words, Self-actualization. Individuation looks differently for everyone, but we are all one, and it is through this lens we must see one another.
This is the state of BEING which resides at level four.
“For it’s only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering – when one realizes that one IS the universe, complete and at one with all that is, forever without end, then no further suffering is possible.”
-Sir David Hawkins
True faithfulness does not deviate.
When we are consistent, it is wholly honest.
Being unswerving, it is full trust.
When based on fearlessness, it is gentle.
Being certain, it is joyous.
And being confident, it is tolerant.
Defenselessness attends it naturally, and joy is its condition.
Faithfulness, then, combines in itself the other attributes of God’s teachers.
Inspired by A Course In Miracles, A Course of Love, Test-Driven for Accuracy, and Injected with Experience.