Here’s a little dating advice for those who might feel terminally single…
The term “terminally single” was my username while I was dating online (off and on for about 3 years). Now, don’t get me wrong I wasn’t sitting around crying in my wine glass because I was alone. I spent the majority of my 30’s single and loving it!
However, when the time came, or I guess I should say I evolved enough to desire to live in a partnership, finding a good mate wasn’t very easy.
You know you are in this category when you’ve read every self-help book and visited every lecture to get as much dating advice as possible. You think you understand “the secrets to love” until you hit the inevitable wall of relationship death (once again). The symptoms include wondering what happened to all the sane people, spending more time at home with the furry ones, and the strong desire to just give up and spend the rest of your life alone.
But don’t, because as it turns out, there is new scientific evidence that proves to be lonely and living alone can create a health hazard.
It’s been awhile since I began a Meetup for singles called Relaxed Relationships. Consequently, as a result of my empathy and understanding with the “terminally single.”
First of all, it began when I sat in for a friend who was teaching The Law of Attraction. I mentioned the principles work for relationships as well, and EVERYONE LEANED IN. Furthermore, I shared how I was able to overcome the challenges of dating and relationships and experience something completely different. I also shared how it eventually led me to the most beautiful relationship and now, the discovery of the path to real love.
Way back then, I empathized with everyone who began settling into the status of “terminally single.” I remembered feeling that way myself during almost two decades of the divorced single life.
In addition, there were many years I was tired of hurting others, being hurt and was truly fine just being alone. Therefore, I considered avenues in which I could just be fluid, unattached, as I was unwilling to be all the way “in”. Most of all,
A terminally single person ALWAYS has their inevitable escape route already in place.
I tried to convince myself I was happy being alone and single. It was easy to believe this was true because I had a great life. However, I also had nagging thoughts which consistently took me to the fantasy of finding someone with whom I could spend the rest of my life.
Although, I feared it would be more like “doing time” versus spending time living a fantasy.
As it turned out, most of our members related to feeling this way also, and therefore, I found the courage to share with the group (gulp) my secret for navigating the dating and relationship terrain. In addition, I had a hidden secret agenda for raising the consciousness of the world via the path of dating and relationships.
Here’s how it went down…Picture yourself sitting in the back of a pizza joint in a semi-private room. It was a small space which held about 40 singles who showed up for a little mix and mingle and some “dating advice”. We all sat at a joined table in a big square, shoulder to shoulder, and it was tight. We served pizza and drinks for those who wanted alcohol. After all, it was a singles mixer. Well… sorta. The point I’m making is, it was a very casual and laid back group. It was usually half men and half women. So, now picture me standing in front of the room holding this big chart ready to explain the ladder of relationships. Relationships via the different levels of consciousness. Yeah, I really used the word “consciousness” in the midst of all the side conversations of,
“Hey, baby wanna get together later?”
Ok, I didn’t really hear those words uttered, but don’t underestimate one’s ability to ‘hear” the thoughts of lonely singles.
As a result of my courage to share this information with others brings us to this blog many years later. Furthermore, my desire to share the ladder to understanding love’s mystery. Join us here if you would like to read more about this journey and the evolution of Relaxed Relationships.
Oh, and anytime you are looking for a little dating and relationship advice you can find the reasons I felt compelled to share “THE CHART” right here!
One more thing, my beloved and I are celebrating six years together in August of 2017. I have to admit the path leading to where we are now is NOTHING like I thought it would be. We’ve always been willing to share our experiences from both a male and female perspective. This process has been used to show others what happens when we allow the laws of love to create a path by merely applying a little patience to the process.